There’s nothing naturally wrong with being friendly or kind to others. It is a commendable quality we appreciate, but it can also prevent a desire to avoid letting others down or from the pressure to blend into an idealized image. Many individuals who seek to please others intentionally choose this path because they fear upsetting people. While it can effectively prevent conflict, it often leaves you feeling exhausted and unhappy in the long term. Remaining authentic to yourself becomes challenging when you continuously adjust your behavior and words based on what you believe others desire.

When you prioritize pleasing others over your happiness, you may experience low self-esteem, feel overwhelmed by expectations, and struggle with coping skills. Here are 4 strategies that can help you steer clear of people-pleasing, embrace self-love, and feel more at ease with who you are:

1. Do not try to fit in. Always keep in mind that self-honesty is the key aspect. Avoid actions aimed at proving your worth to others. Uphold what you believe is beneficial for you. If someone requests that you act in ways that contradict your values, stand your ground, and do what you know is right. There’s no need to alter your personality to gain others’ admiration. When you embrace your true self, you will earn respect from those around you.

2. Learn to say “NO”. Often, individuals who strive to make others happy struggle with the ability to say “no.” It’s essential to learn that saying “no” is perfectly acceptable. Decline requests if someone asks for something you are unwilling or unable to do or it’s beyond your capacity. You aren’t obligated to agree to every demand made of you if you cannot fulfill it or if it doesn’t benefit you. Just remember that refusing doesn’t imply selfishness when necessary; it means you are taking care of yourself.

3. Establish clear and healthy boundaries. Individuals who aim to please others often fail to recognize the boundaries they need to establish. However, paying attention to your surroundings and identifying what requires adjustment is essential. Although it may initially seem challenging, change is achievable. Compile a list of behaviors that make you feel uneasy or taken advantage of, prioritizing them with the most significant issues at the top. This straightforward method can help you remain authentic without needing to satisfy everyone.

4. Spend some time alone. Learning to enjoy solitude is essential for your mental and physical well-being. Many fear being alone because they are concerned they will feel lonely, bored, or uneasy. While you are enjoying some quiet time, there’s no need to worry about others’ opinions of you. Spending time by yourself can assist you in understanding your thoughts, emotions, and needs. It can also help you identify what brings you joy and what doesn’t. Gaining a better understanding of yourself allows you to make excellent decisions, establish appropriate boundaries, uncover your purpose, and stay committed to your goals.

It’s important to understand that you cannot please everyone and won’t always make everyone happy. Everyone has different needs, so what works for one individual may not work for another. Instead, concentrate on being true to yourself. The people who appreciate your authentic self will always value you.